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Your Pot of Gold

Hey Wendy!

How do you deal with time management and motivation? I always plan my days out based on what I have to get done, but I never accomplish anything because I get distracted or bored! Thanks!

Sincerely,

Halli P.

Dear Halli,

This is an interesting question. When someone has to get something done, I would usually tell them to make a plan, mapping out how to get from point A to point B step by step. But, you, my dear, have the plan but are having a hard time sticking to it.

You say you either get bored or distracted. I wonder, Halli, do you feel connected to what you are doing? Sometimes we have to have the why before the how. Even though my work load seems overwhelming at times, I always endeavor to plow through it because it is the work that I love. Helping people in creative ways is my calling and I get to do it every day through writing this column, making a vlog, and working on my next book.

Now I realize that not everyone gets to spend their days doing exactly what they love. But, I also believe that we all deserve to be working towards that. So what is your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? What dream are you chasing? Do you want to be your own boss, do you want to travel the world, do you want to buy a house and make it your own?

I want you to really spend some time thinking about this and when you have an answer (or a few!), I want you to post reminders of that goal all around your work space. If you are more of a left-brained person, that may just be notes that say “Trip to Spain!” or “Opening my own yoga studio.” If you are more right brained, you might want to make a vision board or pick out an inspiring song to listen to any time you need a boost. The point is, if you keep reminding yourself of the ‘why’, the how will be easier to navigate.

Once you have your dream or, in other words, your motivation in mind, try some of these tricks for how to stay focused and avoid distractions. You say that you plan out your days already. That’s great! Now take that list of tasks and prioritize them. You can do this by urgency, but I suggest doing it by complexity of the task. The reason for this is that our first hour of working is when our brain is firing at all cylinders.  The longer we’re at it, the more tired our noggin gets.  So, use that magic time to get the most creative task accomplished.

Here’s an example. Let’s say this afternoon I have to shoot out some emails, clean my desk, and write an article. Well, often I am tempted to start with the mindless task first (most likely cleaning my desk) and build up to that hard one! But, unless one of the emails is URGENT, I should really start with the article while my brain is the least tired.

Recognize that even when you get your goals in order and you have your motivation, there will be times (probably a lot more than you’d like) when you just won’t feel like working. This is called resistance and it’s natural and annoying. You just have to recognize it for what it is and push through it. The difference between a professional athlete and an amateur is the former’s ability to work and practice even when they don’t feel like it.  Setting timers for yourself and putting your phone on airplane mode can help keep you on track.

Most people overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can do in a year. Recognize that you are only human and only have so much energy, focus, and stamina. Be realistic about what you can feasibly accomplish in a day and spread your bigger projects out over weeks or months. If you whittle your todo list down to 3 items for the day rather then the never-ending list that just rolls over and over, you’ll have a much better chance at feeling a sense of peace and accomplishment rather than stress at the end of the day. Then you can rest, rejuvenate and be ready for your 3 items tomorrow.

All in all, be kind to yourself, Halli. Remember that you are more than your todo list, more than the sum of your achievements. You are a very human person who is probably delightful in lots of human ways just trying to figure it all out. The more you can be your own cheerleader rather than your own bully, the closer you’ll get to becoming the woman you want to be.

Always yours,

Wendy

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Posted in Ask Wendy
Posted on March 9, 2017

The More They Stay The Same

People of Neverland, Jas Hook here. My darling Wendy recently brought it to my attention that her family’s local newspaper has been floundering. This news kicked me back on my heels, and spurred me on to do something about it; not just because the Kensington Chronicle matters to Wendy but because it matters to me. I, too, read John’s editorials week in and week out, and take no small source of pleasure from Michael’s Dear Darling videos. What’s more, even though I’ve spent the better part of my life far from the town I first called home, an important part of my heart has always been in Neverland. For a long time, I was the only out-of-state subscriber to the Chronicle. Shipping a copy to New York on a daily basis is not the cheapest proposition in the world, but being the CEO of a massive global conglomerate like JH Media does occasionally have its privileges. Honestly, my advisors recommended against acquiring the Chronicle; “It doesn’t make any sense,” they told me, “Not from a financial standpoint.” Well, I’ll tell all of you exactly what I told them: JH Media is about more than just what makes “financial sense.”

I didn’t really know Mr. George Darling very well in high school, but I’ve spent a great deal of time with him on my most recent visit to Neverland. And I’m happy to report that he’s every bit the charming, local hero that the paper makes him out to be. His passion for the Chronicle is unmatched (except, perhaps, by that of his son John), and I’m proud to say that more than a little of that passion has rubbed off on me. Like George said in his last editorial, the Kensington Chronicle is a Neverland institution. And as such, I want to inform everyone that JH Media maintains a commitment to making as few changes as possible. With that in mind, for as long as he’s willing and able, there will always be a place for Mr. George Darling at the helm.

I know that John Darling, editor of our online edition, is a prototypical Neverlandian in his reluctance to embrace change. It’s my understanding that he’s not been taking the paper’s sale particularly well, which is why he hasn’t written any editorials for the past several weeks. But I want to make it clear that I know John’s aversion to the new status quo has nothing to do with me or my company; John and I have enjoyed nothing but the most cordial of relationships since I came into his sister Wendy’s life. I think John is just having trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that the family business is no longer all in the family. But I have no doubt that John will come around, and his position will be waiting for him when he does. Because, as a longtime reader, I understand that the Kensington Chronicle needs John Darling as much as he needs it.

So take heart, people of Neverland: your beloved local newspaper isn’t going anywhere. If anything, I’m committed to making the Kensington Chronicle better than ever. I’d also like to invite your input during this period of transition, to make sure we’re putting out a paper that meets, and hopefully even exceeds, your needs. Despite my complicated history with Neverland, in my heart it’s always been my home. It is an incredible honor to shepherd my favorite local paper into what I know will be a new era of prosperity, and I’m fully aware of the great responsibility that that entails. Your stories are the heart of Neverland, constant readers, and we’re going to keep telling your stories. Because I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Posted in Editorials
Posted on September 9, 2015

Dear Darling – SELF HELP!

Dear Darling,
Hey Michael it’s Michael! How are you? Never mind I know exactly how you’re doing – you’re freaking out! Everything is changing and I don’t know what to do! Today I saw John wearing a wrinkled shirt. A WRINKLED SHIRT!!! If that is not a clear sign that these are the end times than I don’t know what is! So I guess my question to me is…How do you stay calm when you have no friggin’ idea what will happen next, and down is up, and right is wrong, and good is bad, and you’re completely OUT OF CHEESY POOFS!?!?!?!!1

Sincerely Michael Darling.

Well, Michael I can tell by your punctuation that you are A) very handsome B) very cool and C) super stressed out.  And my advice to you is…I DON’T KNOW!  And what do I do when I’m lost?  Watch cartoons!!! So please enjoy this advice:

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on September 9, 2015

Work vs Play

How do you manage work and play? My personal experience has been a bit sketchy, especially nearing exam times, and I would like to hear your advice.

-Zoe

This is an awesome question Zoe my darlingite!  Especially when everyone is getting ready to head back to school!

We all have important things that we have to do.  You have to do your homework, you have to clean your room, you have to organize your dvd collection by ability to make you laugh so hard milk comes out your nose.  But it’s also important to LIVE!  It’s important to go outside and play tag with the squirrels, to try every ice cream flavor they have at the Jolly Roger Soda Shop , to puke rainbows because you ate 40 pounds of ice cream, to have FUN!

But you have to have balance.

Many of you know my brother John.  A while back, he was in a place where work was his number one priority.  He would work 25 hours a day, yes 25.  He was so efficient that somehow he managed to get an extra hour out of every day!  It was driving him crazy!  And then you have my, old friend, Peter.  Peter was so focused on only doing things he thought were fun that he lost his job.  If you give work too much time, you’ll isolate yourself from the rest of the world.  But if you abandon all your responsibilities, you’ll disappoint the people who are counting on you and end up just as alone.

Later in life, you can find work that actually makes you happy!  I love talking to all of my darlingites, so work and play are sorta the same thing!  For now, while you’re in school, just make sure you keep that balance!  Try rewarding yourself for spending an hour studying by drawing a picture of your teacher and his goofy tie!  Or maybe read the chapters your assigned outside to get some fresh air!   Whatever you do, keep it balanced 🙂

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on September 2, 2015

Neverspeak Weekly 9/1/15

Party Patrol. There was a lot of build-up to Sarah-Jane Lakewood’s NYC engagement party this week. After she enlisted security help from Teresa Delacruz and Sheriff Lestrade, the Neverland Fate Stalkers were called to expand their normal matchmaking duties to include public safety. They may be lovers, not fighters, but Neverland stayed quiet except for a few rustling shrubs.

A Michaelstone! Kensington Chronicle’s resident advice columnist and vlogger Michael Darling celebrated his 100th episode of Dear Darling this week. His unique blend of heartfelt advice and off-the-wall antics have made for quite a run. Here’s hoping he’ll have a hundred more great episodes – maybe guest starring his sister and new boss-in-law Wendy!

My Fair Soiree. As expected, Ms. Lakewood’s engagement party was quite the event! The guest list included Cecco, Ed Teynte, her roller derby crew, Marvel executives, Chris Pratt and Mermaid Lagoon. Neverlandians in attendance were Wendy Darling, Jas Hook, Sheriff Lestrade, Bri Valdivia, Nanny Ams, and Fish Girl Pond. The surprise of the night was when Special Guest Julie Andrews came out of retirement to sing to the couple.

Editor-in-Grief. If you have been keeping up with the paper through this difficult transition, you may be missing a certain voice. If the Kensington Chronicle is the heart of Neverland, then John Darling is the heart of the Kensington Chronicle. We here at the paper miss his passion and commitment, and look forward to his return! Now back to my absolutely filthy desk…

All My Single Landies! A certain gossip columnist promised to feature sexy singles in her column sometime. Well, carpe date ’em! If you’d like to be mentioned, DM me with a little bio about yourself and what you’re looking for in a significant other. Summer’s coming to an end, and as that crisp fall weather approaches, we all deserve someone special to cuddle up to.

Trending
#NationalDogDay
Taylor Swift
Feminist Tweet
#CabinTime
President Trump
RIP Wes Craven
#YouNow
Teddy Lupin

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on September 1, 2015

100 Ways to Stay Alive on the Web!

Ahoy-hoy, Darlingites! This edition of John’s Editorials is brought to you by the irreversible Michael Darling, and the letter “O.”  As in, “OMG, I can’t believe I’ve been hosting ‘Dear Darling’ for 100 episodes!” I know John usually writes these, but in honor of this milestone, he let me tag in! And here I am, ready to talk about one of my favorite subjects: ME!

That’s right, it’s been 100 episodes since I took over “Dear Darling” from my sister, Wendy, and our numbers are better than ever! (Not that it’s a competition.) Wendy was the inventor of the format, after all. And mostly, I’m just glad she and I are on speaking terms again.

Since Mr. Hook has ALL the money, I expect my salary will go up a million percent. But don’t worry, I have no plans to retire. I love all of you too much! And, look, as long as we’re talking about it, I’m gonna get sappy for a second. I couldn’t do this show without all of you viewers. I literally couldn’t. Without you, I’d have nobody to give advice to! So I wanted to take a minute to do a bunch of shoutouts to friends of the show, people who help make “Dear Darling” the Kensington Chronicle’s most popular advice vlog. In no particular order:

JH Media computer whiz Zoe Penderghast, who helped salvage my hard drive after it got wet during the last Fish Girl Pond concert. Hannah Hope, one of my high school buds, who just recently became a teacher at Neverland High. Say hi to Aurelia Lavoix for me, she’s the voice coach there! Gotta give the Heisel twins credit for world’s best prank, even if it was at my expense! You know what you did. Officer Kenzi Martin, who’s been helping Sheriff Lestrade settle into his new position.

My favorite non-human guest, Chuckles the high-fiving cat, and her human, Shirley Positive. I’ve never met Alexander Trell in person, I don’t think anyone has seen him since he was 12. But he writes in on a regular basis, and John tells me his books on LGBT issues are absolute page turners. Maddy Pfairlove and her amazing strawberry banana smoothies. Cornish Curios curator Brigid Cornish, who keeps coming up in conversation. Holy alliteration, Batman!

Melissa “Buttons” Wilson for hosting our staff Bad Movie Nights. Neverwhere Inn, where Colleen Husted leaves the light on for all of our celebrity guests. Rufio Bascom of Rufio Consignments, who provided my jacket for the anniversary episode. Vehura Hoshino and Luath Events for organizing the Chronicle Christmas party this past year. Kaz and Bronwen for being the best interns a guy could have.

And I can’t leave out Jo and Freddie Wentworth, who created “Dear Darling’s” littlest fan, baby Lillian. And of course, Monstro, Columbine Hailtree, Lily Belle Abbott, Erin Wilbert, Valeria Smooth, Kensy, Adelaide Turner, Big Matthew C., Amanda Carter and Ann Jensen, but you kids are getting a special shoutout in the anniversary show, so I’ll just name drop you all here. Oh, but I will say to Monstro… glad to hear you and Teresa Delacruz worked out your differences, buddy.

We’ve got a star-studded anniversary episode in store for you guys this week. It’s all I can do not to post the lineup here, but that’d spoil the surprise! Moving forward, you might see videos even more often! I have my entire room to myself for a change, which means I can do videos at all hours.

Thank you guys so much for making “Dear Darling” possible. You ain’t seen nothing yet!

Sent from my iPhone,
Michael Darling

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Posted in Editorials
Posted on August 27, 2015

Dear Darling – Being Yourself

How are you so free? You are always yourself, no matter what anyone thinks of you. Every time I try to be myself, people tell me exactly who I should be and what I should do with my life. It feels like I’m twenty different people trying to please fifty. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even know who I am anymore. It’s been the cause of my depression for almost two years and I don’t know what to do. I just want to make everyone else happy.
-Emily
Anytime people try to tell me to be less me, AKA less AWESOME, I just watch their mouths move and replace all the words with “Wah wah wu-wah wu-wah” and nod until they walk away.

 

Haters gonna hate man! As long as the you YOU are isn’t unkind or destructive or harmful to anyone else – DO YOU! You’ve exhausted yourself trying to make other people happy; it’s time to get rid of 19 of those 20 people pleasers and pick the person you wanna be. It’s not gonna happen overnight either. Finding the happiest you can take time. Imagine if Goku stopped at Saiyan and never went Super Saiyan?

 

Just do me a favor, put yourself first sometimes. We shouldn’t put ourselves first all the time – that’s a one-way ticket to I’m a Jerk Town. But if you always put yourself last and try to be someone just to make others happy, you’ll be the number one resident of Bummed Outville. So take a deep breath and start tuning out anyone that says who you are isn’t enough.

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on August 19, 2015

Dear Darling – She loves me…not?

How do you get over someone who you liked but didn’t like you back?
-PersonNeedingMichael’sWisdom
Well, PersonNeedingMichael’sWisdom, first of all…What an awesome name!!! I mean, how crazy is it that your mom named you PersonNeedingMichael’sWisdom?? What are the odds?!?! There are no coincidences, only things that happen by total random chance, so I am excited to be the Michael that offers the wisdom you need!

Second of all, this is rough. I know it’s hard to believe, because I’m so muscular and handsome and funny and charming, but this has happened to me. (GASP) We don’t have as much control over how we feel as we’d like to think we do and sometimes you see someone and BAM! Feelings just pounce on you, like a…like a TIGER! But we have even less control over how other people feel.

The most important thing to remember is that it isn’t a reflection on how good or bad you are. Sometimes our brains are jerks and tell us that if So-and-So doesn’t like us, then we shouldn’t like ourselves. Well that is dog poop! Don’t listen to it! You take that thought and you throw that right in the trash! Who knows what the other person is thinking, don’t over-analyze it, don’t get all macho (or girl-cho?) and become angry at them. They are not required to like you back. And odds are, there is someone around who does like you and hasn’t told you yet, and seeing you deal with rejection badly might totally turn them off.

Chin up. Literally. Walk tall, walk proud. Realize that you will be enough, NAY, you will be excessively awesome for someone else. And until that time comes you’re just gonna keep getting better and better. And maybe that person who wasn’t into you will come running crying “Wait! Wait! I see it now, you’re the most amazingest, there will never be one more cool, give me another chance!” and you’ll just tip your sunglasses and say “Sorry, that ship has sailed” and walk away in slo-mo.

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on August 12, 2015

Dear Darling – Healthy Friendships

Dear Darling
I have recently undergone some changes due to health issues and I am having a hard time communicating how difficult it is to my friends. These health issues have required a complete lifestyle change and adjustments in normal activities requires forethought and planning and adjustments which I don’t feel I am receiving from my friends. What should I do? – Vicky Knowledge
It sounds like you’re dealing with TWO things! Possible even THREE THINGS! But don’t worry, my dearest Darlingite! I took an online night class on multi-tasking!

First off, you’re probably still adjusting to your new health conditions yourself. Sometimes when we undergo personal changes it can be stressful and we can feel alone. Second, you mention communicating has been hard. There can be a lot of reasons we have a hard time talking about medical problems, it can be very personal and the words can be very hard to pronounce. Third, you’re not seeing your friends making the effort to adjust.
You know what I think? (Of course not! If you did you’d be psychic!!!) I think there all CONNECTED!


Because you’re having a hard time telling your friends how hard your new life is, they don’t understand how much you need them! It might be difficult, but you need to have a heart to heart with them. You should open up about your struggle, maybe have a get-together at your house specifically to talk to them and answer questions, make it a party! You can call it: Vicky Knowledge’s Awesome Friends Awareness Party!!! And be ready Miss Knowledge, not every person is as cool and amazing as us. Some of your friends might not make the changes as quickly as others, some might not compromise at all. But think of this as a good thing, you’d rather have a few truly amazing friends than a bunch of jerks who are only thinking about themselves.

Medikidz.com
PS- If you’re having trouble finding a fun way to teach your friends about your health condition, check out Medikidz. It’s a comic book series designed to help people understand and teach others about a bunch of different medical conditions! It’s fun and educational (which sounds like an oxyclean moron, but it is fun I swear!). They’re written by some nerdy kid named Shawn DeLoache…his name sounds kinda familiar. Maybe he was in my night class online!

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on August 5, 2015

Dear Darling – Long Distance Friendships

Hello! Long time reader, first time writer. So, how do you manage to stay close to people when long distance is a problem? A lot of my friends are going off to college far away, and I am terrified of growing apart because of distance. Thank you!
-Ysabelle
@fandomfeline

 

Hey Ysabelle! I too have been reading a long time so we’re basically the same person, I shall now call you Michael 2. Ironically, which is the correct use of that word, Michael 1 (me) has been having a very similar problem. My sister moved away because she got a job making oodles of money doing what she loves. Which is great, for her, I guess. And your friends are probably super excited about their new schools. It’s important to give the people we love room to be happy. Sometimes that means seeing them less and even talking to them less.

You can only control you Michael 2, so do your best to stay involved! Social media has given us the ability to be close to people we’ve never even met (did you know you can tweet @ the president??) so use those super powers to stay up to date with your friends! And don’t forget the mailman! Or woman. Mailperson! They don’t only deliver boring things like important looking tax papers addressed to your brother than you keep forgetting to give him. They also deliver packages!!! There is LITERALLY nothing more exciting than getting a package. Fill a small box with a few of their favorite things, little things to remind them that you still care, and mail it out.

But at the end of the day, the easiest way to make sure you don’t grow apart, is to talk. Answer your phone, return missed calls, reach out to them, and I promise Michael 2, it’ll make a big difference.

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on July 29, 2015
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